The Power of Self-Disclosure (Part II)
When we last left our story, a guy was pedaling toward his high school girlfriend’s house as hard as he could. Hurt by his wife, he’s about to mess up big time. He’s given himself permission to sin. He’s decided he’s almost entitled to it.
Somewhere along the way, he stops for a minute. He’s in a battle. He’s still mad, arguing with himself about whether to turn around or not. In his heart of hearts, he knows where he’s heading is wrong. But as he goes back over his wife’s words, as they sting him again, he’s feeling more and more entitled to do what he’s about to do.
Suddenly, he remembers his friend Randy. Randy knows everything about him. Everything. He dials up Randy and says “Hey….I, uh, I, uh….how you doin’?” Randy knows something’s up. The guy continues to stutter and stammer until he finally says “Hey Randy, I’m on my bike, heading over to Arlene’s house.” Randy knew about Arlene. He knew about the call a few years back. Like I said, Randy knows everything. He says firmly to the guy “Stay right where you are, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” The guy interrupts. Exhales hard. “No, that’s alright. I’m o.k. now. I’m heading home. Later on, man.” No more words required. A disaster avoided…with one call to the right friend
By simply exposing his weakness to his friend…by allowing the “light” to shine into his life right then, the power of darkness was annihilated. Telling someone when we’re tempted takes the power out of it…someone who loves us enough that it’s safe for us to open ourselves up. Lynch teaches this principle:
“It is less important that anything ever gets fixed than that nothing ever has to be hidden.”
The guy’s call to Randy didn’t fix anything. But it took what was hidden and brought it out into the light. The power was gone. Instantly.
Men need other men. We need men like Randy in our life. Good men to stand with us. Men need ‘spiritual safety’. Men need ‘protective love’. Men need friends we can call and talk things through. Men who will think more of us for our weakness and vulnerability, not less.
These friendships may be born in conversations about work, weather and sports, but they don’t grow up there. They grow as we commit to each other. As we initiate getting together and make time for each other. As we confess our sins and temptations to each other. I’ve learned that intimacy among guys directly correlates to what they’ll confess. Confess to unpaid parking tickets and you might as well be back talking about sports. Bare your soul about the sins of the past, the temptations of the present, and your fears about the future and you’re on your way to having true intimate friends…on your way to having a “Randy” like the guy in the story.
Galatians 6:2 says “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Question: Will you ask God to show you the men in your life with the highest potential for intimate friendship? Will you reach out and begin the process of going deep with this guy or guys? Tell us what you did here
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