Butch made a huge impression on me. He was a quiet guy, but there was substance about him. Depth. Character. You felt it. He looked you in the eye, but with an accepting look on his face. I wasn’t a ‘special case’ for him. I was just another young guy at church. But he reached out to me, asking me to go with him to do something the church wanted done. We did whatever it was and ended up back in the church parking lot after dark. As I started to get out of the car, he asked if he could pray for me. I have no idea what he prayed, or even why he offered. I just remember nervously listening as he prayed, saying goodnight, getting out of the car, and driving home.

Maybe it was the contrast between Butch’s life and mine. His peace. My lack of it. His courage to ask a stranger if he could pray for him. My cowardice to even talk about God. His deep love for God and people. My deep desire to avoid God and use people to get what I wanted.

Or maybe it was the contrast between Butch’s life and other church people. I’d never found a hero in church world. No one I wanted to be like. The men in church world were old and gray. They were slow, not smart. They were passive. Talkers, not doers. And a lot of them were hypocrites. Big time.

That evening was the only time I ever hung out with Butch. It was a snapshot. A random Instagram from inside his life. We moved not too long after that, so I didn’t get to watch the full-length movie of his ‘walk.’ I didn’t see him in action as a husband, a dad, a businessman or healthcare professional. But I had a strong sense if I’d watched the movie, I’d have seen a pretty consistent story of humility, faith and dedication to the Lord.

Butch had no idea I was watching. I wouldn’t have gone with him that night if I hadn’t been. If I hadn’t seen something in him I was drawn to.

So is this a pitch to ‘raise your game?’ To always be ‘on?’ To live like you’re a rock star, always conscious of the paparazzi?

No.

It’s a call to be like Jesus. To be “gentle and humble in heart.” To be the “pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.”

We all do better when somebody’s watching, and the point is somebody’s always watching. Few people get close enough for long enough to see the movie of your life. But people are constantly taking snapshots.

So remember… “be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” And remember to “let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

Moment by moment. Impression by impression. Snapshot by snapshot.

Question: Do you trust God enough to relax in your own skin and be consistently “gentle and humble in heart”? Tell us why or why not here.

My conversation with God that September night seemed so singular- so “one to One”. I said “It’s you and me, God”, and that was it. Dead quiet, stars in the sky, my breaking heart, and His love. It was just us.

At least that’s what I thought.

Reality was my friend’s wife Delaine had been praying for me for 8 years. She had been strategic in what she’d said to me, but she’d been asking God to save me all that time. In fact, she’d asked a group of her friends to pray for me too. 8 years. I didn’t have a clue.

She’d also seen the stress fractures in our marriage. A few days before our meltdown, she’d bought a book for us…on Christian marriage. That book said “Marriage is for life. Don’t give up. God put you together. He intends for you to stay together”. It was a pivotal read. Through that book, (and through Delaine) God gave my wife a guardrail that kept our struggling marriage together.

Delaine didn’t just empathize for a lost friend. She didn’t just feel sorry for his wife. She didn’t stop with just being “concerned” for our messed-up marriage. She did something. She was intentional. Her heart was breaking for what God’s heart was breaking for. And she did something about it.

You see, we’re all intentional. It’s in our nature. Intentionality drives our survival, our careers, our families and our fun. It’s not a question of will we be intentional. It’s what we’ll be intentional about.

Most people reading this are intentional about their spiritual progress. We go to church, go to small group or Sunday school, read our Bible and have ‘quiet times’.

We’re looking out for ourselves spiritually. And for our families.

But the question is this…

Will we be intentional for the spiritual progress of others?

A few years back, I put together a little system that’s helped me be more focused on others. It’s called an intentionality map. You’ll need a piece of paper and a pencil, or you can download a pretty, pre-printed one by clicking here.

Start by thinking about the people in your life. Who has God put on your heart? Given you a little bit of a burden for? You may know why…or not. You may know a lot about where they are spiritually. You may know very little.

Make a list of those people. It might be one or two. Could be ten or twelve. Just write down their names. No one’s going to see your list. This is just between you and God.

Now ask God to help you guess where they are spiritually. Based on what you know and the ‘unction’ of the Holy Spirit, write each name under one of these five headings….

Column A – “Apathetic” – They don’t seem to know or care about spiritual things. They rarely talk about God, but if they do, it’s skeptical…or negative.

Column B – “Beginning to search” – There’s a little spark. They’re interested in spiritual things but they’re not sure about the whole “Jesus” thing. They’ll talk about God, read books about spirituality and watch “Touched by an Angel” on t.v.. They’re open, searching to some degree, but not there.

Column C- “Confessing Christian” – These people say they believe. They’re comfortable talking about “church” and God. A little squeamish when it comes to Jesus, but they say they’re Christians. They’re doing nothing to grow in their faith, other than attending an occasional mass or church service. When they mention their faith, they refer to “it”, not “Him”.

Column D- “Developing Disciples” – These are people who believe in Jesus, but want more. They’re in small groups, Sunday school, Bible studies, and the like. They’re growing in their faith. They read Christian books and study their Bibles. They pray. But their focus is on their own spiritual growth, not so much anyone else.

Column E- “Excelling Christians” – These people are “D’s”, but who care about the spiritual well-being of others. They’re “others focused”. It’s not just about them and their families…“me and mine”. It’s about helping others grasp the Gospel and move toward being ‘all in’ for Jesus. These are disciple makers. They’re public about their faith. They’re “all in”.

With names scattered in these five columns, you’re ready to be more intentional.

Now it’s up to you to pray for the people on your intentionality map. “Lord, who on this list would you have me pray for today?” “God, please give me words to say to ____(insert name)___that might inspire them to move from “B” to “C”, from searcher to believer.” “Jesus, please light a spark in ____(insert name)___. Please give them a curiosity about you. If you can use me, show me what you’d have me do and I’ll do it”. Your prayers are focused. You’re asking God to move the people in your life one step closer to Him. And you’re intentionally making yourself available to be involved however He wants you to be.

I’d give a lot for you to have been on the phone that night, when I called Delaine to tell her I’d surrendered to Christ. The joy in her voice was so real. So authentic. I had no idea how long she’d been praying this day would come. I just knew she was ecstatic for me. There’s nothing quite like being intentional about helping a friend find and grow in Christ, and to be there when they take a big step toward the Father.

It takes intentionality.

Question: Will you be intentional about the spiritual condition of others? Then say so….here.

What if Jesus is the Guy at the door?

Suppose He’s not looking at I.D.’s. He’s just admitting the people He knows.

If I understand the trinity, Jesus is the Guy at the door. He’s the gate to get in. He’s also (mysteriously) the club Owner. Some folks seem to get that, but not everyone.

And what’s even more mysterious is when you enter the club, there’s this Spirit there. It’s kind of a reflection of the Owner and the Guy at the door. It’s magical. It invisibly leads the d.j. to play the right music at just the right time. The lights, the sound, the smells (no smoking by the way)….all the senses are wired to the max. There’s something supernatural about this club. You’re drawn to the Owner, the Guy at the door, and to everyone in here. You think about your friends and family who’ve never been…never expressed an interest. You care about them and wish they could experience what you’ve experienced….knowing the Owner, the Guy at the door, the people in here (both those you know and those you don’t) and the mystery of how wonderful it all is together.

The Owner is a pretty big dude in the city. He built most of it and the rumor is He owns the whole place. He doesn’t put His name on everything, but He makes stuff so wonderful and beautiful, people who know Him recognize His fingerprint on what He’s created….things that just seem to “be” as well as things He inspired others to create.

The people in the club seem to find each other around town. Those who know each other find themselves together in business, doing sports, eating out, hanging out and raising their kids together. A little conversation and those who don’t know each other suddenly do. They’re instantly connected by that Spirit from the club. The love and respect they have for the Owner and the Guy at the door transfers over. They’re different. They like different things about the club, but there’s kinship from the get-go.

There are some in this city who won’t acknowledge the Owner even exists. They can’t see it. They want proof the Owner is behind all this. They say it just happened or smart people did it. Or maybe aliens.

They don’t want to be in the club because somehow that would make them small, or stupid like so many people they judge that way. To justify themselves, they cut down the club members every chance they get. They’re missing out and have no idea.

Back to the gate.

A lot of people want to get in the club. They show up with a diploma from dance academy. A couple of people were on “Dancing with the Stars.” “I can light up this club” they say! A lot of them remind the Guy at the door of some long-ago encounter they had with him. They so want him to let them in on their pedigree, or their parent’s pedigree, or their performance, or how good they are compared to everyone else, including a lot of people already inside.

No dice.

And the hardest part to deal with is it’s not fair.

Who does the Owner think he is? What gives him the right to set things up so you have to know the Guy at the door to get in?

When you think about it, all those questions are dumb. Every person on earth wields control over what they own, even if it’s nothing but a stolen shopping cart. The Owner can make whatever rules he wants. It’s his club.

Are there other clubs around? Absolutely. Some of them offer the opportunity to kill yourself to get into them. Some ask you to believe crazy stuff and give all your time, talent, treasure, and life-options over to their leaders. There’s even a club made up of people who don’t believe in clubs.

The most painful thing is standing outside the club and watching people come up to the Guy at the gate. They tell him about when they shook his hand, went to his house. A lot of them have been to his house thousands of times. All of them tell him they believe in him or they’ve met him before. Some are downright indignant when he looks in their eyes and says “I never knew you”.

What makes it worse is a moment later, someone the Guy at the door knows shows up. There’s like this connection, the camaraderie, a love that’s real and you can’t fake. They were at the lake together last weekend. They talked to each other this morning. The Guy at the door knows what’s going on in this person’s life. He’s in, and he’s welcomed like he’s the most important person who’s shown up tonight.

Question: Who are you introducing to the Guy at the door?  Share with us here.

That was different.

“But I’m responsible to my boss & the shareholders. I’ve got budgets to meet and numbers to make. How can my job be ‘spiritual’ like a pastor’s?”

Hold that thought.

Skip to the conversation I had with a senior pastor. “Who is the CEO of your church?” I asked. “I am” he said quickly. (Whoa! “I am”? Didn’t someone else say that somewhere?)

How can a secular job…a job dealing with inventory, code, contracts, deliveries, lawsuits, heart attacks, interns, HR…how can these jobs be spiritual? And how can the work of the senior pastor of a large church be anything other than spiritual?

Here’s how…

 A secular endeavor, approached from a spiritual perspective, is spiritual.

 A spiritual endeavor, approached from a secular perspective, is secular.

It’s all about motive. It’s about why you do what you do. If the business leader goes to work for spiritual purposes, his work is spiritual. If he works to bring glory to God by “doing his work heartily as to the Lord”, it’s spiritual. If he’s passionately loving and serving people out of gratitude and obedience…because God told him to ‘love one another’, because he ‘considers others better than himself, because even if he wants to be great, he does that by being a servant…if that’s why he works, then he’s ‘in the ministry’ baby! And his work is spiritual.

If the senior pastor’s motive is to keep up the growth, make the budget, raise the capital, expand the programs, and be famous for leading the great big church down the street….then his work is secular. And God may move far from it. And him.

The pastors and church leaders we admire and follow aren’t focused on the money, the number of “cheeks in the seats”, or the next building to be built. They’re focused on life change….on being used to help someone move one step closer to Jesus. It’s getting in on what God is doing.

God is all about motive. Science is about how. God is about why. Science tries to explain how God created everything. But it has no answers to ‘why’.

Do you go to work to make money? Earn a living?

Without a doubt.

Do you work to apply your gifts and abilities? Feel valuable? Do good work and feel good about yourself?

All of the above.

And there’s nothing wrong with any of that.

Both you and your pastor get to choose every day. Secular work or spiritual work? There’s no purely spiritual job…maybe a monk or something. The pastor has to oversee the finances and stuff. There’s a secular piece for sure.

And us lay people have to make money…money to give, save and live. No argument there.

The challenge is in the true priorities of our heart.

Here’s why God’s love is so amazing…one of many reasons. He says in Proverbs 16:2

“All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives”.

Isn’t it cool that our Heavenly Father accepts us, even with our mixed motives? He knows our hearts, “weighs our motives”, and loves us anyway. He loves us extravagantly in our humanity.

Way cool.

Question: If your workplace thoughts and actions could be put on an old-timey scale and weighed, which would weigh more? The spiritual or the secular?  Comment here.

“Your last blog post was ‘killer’! Keep it up!”

“She is such a generous friend. She brought over dinner last week when I was sick….I don’t know how she knew I was down and out!”

Everyone likes getting compliments. Most of the time, they feel really good, even when we don’t think we deserve them.

What makes a good compliment? When should we speak and when should we keep our mouths shut? Here are five principles to consider….

1.  Don’t tell them directly – The highest compliment you’ll ever receive is one that is not intended for your ears. If you’ve observed something special about someone, tell their husband, wife or best friend. They’ll pass on your compliment without you being involved. It will mean much more coming from a “third party” whose only agenda it to build up the person you want to build up.

2.  Compliment character – Bragging about someone’s performance, or looks, or even their skill will encourage them at a surface level. But if you think about their character….if the behavior that’s impressed you emanates from a character quality that you can identify, say something good about that. “If I were describing you to a stranger, I’d start by telling them about your integrity…that I would hand you my wallet and never think twice.” That resonates much more deeply than “Boy, you really shot straight about those expense reports in that meeting with the boss.”

3.  Be intentional when you pay a compliment – Think about what you’re going to say and why you’re going to say it. Am I trying to be liked? Or am I about encouraging (“giving courage to”) someone. You get what you ‘glorify’, particularly with young people. If you want your daughter to wear tons of makeup and spend hours on her hair, constantly compliment her on how pretty she looks. Compliments are, in a sense, rewards. And what is rewarded is repeated. Think about what you want repeated before you pay your compliments.

4.  Don’t dilute the value of your compliments – Paying too many compliments devalues each one. When someone is constantly gushing praise, it’s hard to take them seriously. In fact, you might even question the very thing they’re complimenting you about.  When you think “Oh, they say that to everyone”, it’s easy to discount the compliment and even think they were just saying something to make you feel better. Try not to compliment people on things that weren’t their fault. Your words will ring hollow.

5.  Connect your compliment to something they did – When you can validate your compliment with an action the person took that demonstrates that character trait, it’s more meaningful.  For example, praising someone for being generous means a lot more to that person when it’s tied to an act of generosity that’s recent and observable. Telling your friends about your creative wife resonates more deeply when she’s just finished redecorating your living room and you’re sitting in it when you’re talking. You’re connecting her effort with her gifts in plain view of the outcome.

Paying good compliments takes time. We have to stop and reflect on what’s been done…what we’ve seen or heard. Then we have to think about the person and how we can love them through our words of praise. Then we have to act. An unspoken compliment is useless and gone forever.

One more thought….

When is the last time you gave yourself a compliment?

Next time you do something you’re a little proud of, use these principles to craft a compliment for yourself. Don’t say it in front of anyone else….that would be goofy. But say it to yourself. And mean it.

Every day during creation, God would pause and compliment Himself by declaring what He’d done as good. Try that on yourself every now and then.

Question: How are you at dishing out praise? Do people roll their eyes because you do it so much? Do they burst into tears because they’ve waited so long to hear a compliment come out of your mouth?  If you’d like to comment, please do so here.

“Defend Christianity,” demanded the radio jock.

“I can’t,” replied Miller.

In disbelief, the host asked again, “What do you mean? You write Christian books and stuff. You can’t even defend what you write about?”

Miller explained that today, Christianity means too many different things to people. To some, it’s the guy holding up the “John 3:16” sign in the end zone of the football field. To others, it’s the obnoxious pink-haired lady on TBN, crying and begging for your money. All around, people who wear the brand name “Christian” often repulse those who aren’t believers . . . rarely do they compel them.

When I first committed myself to Christ years ago, I was dangerous. I wanted to “save” everybody. I telephoned every adult in my family to confront them about their faith. I amused friends with my insensitive zeal. The net result of all my talking…? Zero new Christians. Several people, including my own brother and sister, saw me as self-righteous and judgmental…two words that were never used to describe Jesus. As a matter of fact, the only two adjectives Jesus ever used to describe Himself were “gentle” and “humble in heart”.

The “secret sauce” of Christianity is Jesus. Yes, Jesus! Even the name is just plain hard to process. Yet we need to recognize that Jesus has no other physical presence on this earth except through people like us. We are His hands, His feet, His eyes, His handshake. If Jesus is going to communicate His love and acceptance to people, it’s going to be through us.

Now don’t get me wrong….there’s a time to be bold about your faith and even confrontational with the people that you’ve “earned the right” with. But we have to earn that right…they have to “know we care” before they will “care to know.”

So today, own the fact that you have the opportunity to communicate the love and acceptance of Jesus Christ to every human being you encounter. Acknowledge that you have the ability to share the love of Christ to your bosses, your coworkers, your friends, your families and even to the strangers you meet on the street.

Realize that you have the privilege of being His light in a dark world: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. . . . “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

So, will you do it? Will you intentionally let Jesus express His delight in people—whom He created in His own image? Will you set aside your judgmental self righteousness and look at others the way Jesus does? Can you leave the judging of people to God and just love people as Jesus did . . . one encounter at a time?

Question: How will you defend Christianity to those you work with? Will you be a witness through your actions and by genuinely loving and serving others?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

NOTE: The film adaptation of Donald Miller’s best selling book Blue like Jazz hits theaters this weekend. See the trailer at http://www.bluelikejazzthemovie.com/

Think about something you could do….some role you could play in helping others in Jesus’ name. Stop right now and think. Nobody’s going to know what you come up with. This is between me and you.

Now, think about how you might actually move forward with your idea.

I’ll bet you a dollar that within 30 seconds, your mind ran to how inconvenient it would be to take it on.

Convenience is virtually sacred in America. And it’s taking the place of true involvement and heart-felt commitment to doing what Jesus called us to do.

I’ll make up a few hypotheticals. See if your thought pattern is like mine….

IDEA : “I could lead a Bible study at the nursing home for the elderly and the abandoned”.

INCONVENIENCE : “I don’t have that kind of time.” “I certainly couldn’t commit on any kind of regular basis. It would be a lot of work to get the nursing home people to agree to let me do this. It would be more trouble than it’s worth.” Interpretation: I don’t really care that much.

IDEA: “They need more volunteers for the expanded service times. I could sign up.”

INCONVIENCE : “We go to the lake house so much. And of course there’s football in the fall. I just don’t see how I could take it on.”  Interpretation: Serving isn’t really important enough for me to be inconvenienced.

IDEA: “Our friends are going through a rough patch in their marriage right now. We should invite them over for dinner and “love on them” a little. Heck, we might even be able to help.”

INCONVENIENCE: “Well, we already have our small group on Tuesday night. And Billy’s birthday party is next Saturday. That’s just one more thing.”  Interpretation: Their problems are their problems.  I don’t care enough to be inconvenienced.

One more….

IDEA: “Maybe I could mentor a group of younger men for a season.”

INCONVENIENCE : “Wow, those guys are going to take up so much of my time. I’m already busy. The church staff guys get paid to do that sort of thing.” Interpretation: “Me and mine” has trumped serving God and others…..again.

Don’t get me wrong….I’m not saying we should say ‘yes’ to everything we’re invited to do.

But I am suggesting we start being more honest with ourselves and ask this question….

“Is my hesitance to step out and serve coming from a lack of calling or a lack of convenience?

Question: How about you? Will you at least ask the “convenience” question before you say ‘no’ to what God may be calling you to do? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

We’ve gone “zone”. Jesus called “man to man”.

When you play “zone” defense, you’re responsible for an area of the court. Anyone who comes into your zone is your responsibility. Yeah, you move around when the ball comes your way, even leaving your zone to help out when there’s an emergency. But your first responsibility is your area…your zone.

In “man to man”, you’ve got a guy to track. A person. A face. You can study him. You can prepare for him. In the game, you’ll always know where he’s at. You know what he’s up to. He never gets out of your sight. Sometimes he’ll try to fake you out, but you never let him get away for long. You’ll bust your gut… you’ll get injured trying to stay with him.

I sat with a church staff not long ago. They were all there. Music guy. Youth guy. Sunday school guy. They all had their zones.

I asked them to write down the name of one person they were personally investing in for spiritual purposes. Not a single person wrote down a name.

They are all playing “zone”.

“If anyone comes into my area, I’ve got ‘em. But by and large, so long as I’m covering my area, I’m o.k.”

Now before you get too critical, ask yourself if you’re not doing the same thing.

I go to work….I cover my “zone”. I come home, I cover my “husband and father” zone. I go to church, teach a Sunday school class, lead a small group, I’m covering my zone. If someone comes into my zone, I’m ready. If someone in my small group calls me with a problem, then I’m there to help. But I’m not going to look for engagement. I’m not going to initiate. It’s a lot more convenient to respond…to wait for the need to arise…to play “zone”.

Jesus played “man to man”. He broke all kinds of social mores by connecting with men and women one-on-one. The woman at the well, the rich young ruler, Zacchaeus, Matthew, the woman with the problem with blood, on and on… Jesus didn’t just show up in his “zone”. Jesus didn’t just go teach his Sunday school class or lead his small group. He initiated. He connected with people the Father led him to. He went “man to man”.

Ask me how a church, particularly a large one, goes from “zone” to “man to man”? I have no idea, except this….

I had lunch with the Senior Pastor of a large megachurch. Thousands of people. Hundreds of staff. Millions of dollars.

For 45 years….45 years…..this man has mentored a group of guys toward growth in their faith. He said, and I quote, “If I had to choose between preaching on Sunday (playing “zone”) or doing these groups (going “man-to-man”) , I’d give up preaching!”

If church leaders start to go “man to man” in their own lives…if the leaders start to experience the joy of seeing individuals come to Christ and start to flourish in their faith, they’ll figure out how to get others to do it too.

Personally, I went “man to man” a number of years ago. No other decision I’ve made has been more richly rewarded.

Question: Are you willing to go “man to man”? Ask God to show who He wants you to engage with and to give you the courage to initiate.  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

At the very time that Jesus was saying these words to the woman at the well, his disciples were in town buying food. (vs. 8). But when they returned and urged Him to eat, He wouldn’t…..or couldn’t. They asked each other “Has anyone else brought him something to eat?”

Jesus was so fired up about what he was doing, he couldn’t eat. The woman at the well “got it”. She accepted Him as Messiah.

How did He know?

Because she went into town and not only told everyone….she brought them to Jesus so they could see for themselves (vs. 28-30). She had become a mentor…disciple-maker.

And that got Jesus so fired up that He couldn’t eat. He said “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.”  He saw the fruit of his engagement with the woman at the well. And it inspired Him!

What did he do to make all this happen? It’s so freaking simple….

1. He loved her enough to engage her in real conversation.

2. He challenged her to see herself honestly and to confront the truth about her life.

3. He cast a vision for her….a vision of being a “true worshipper”, one who worships in spirit and in truth.

And what did He see happen?

She rose to His challenge. “Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony.” She became a mentor. She “paid it forward.”

And Jesus LOVED IT!

….so much so that He stayed with them another two days (vs. 40). And remember, these are unclean, “half-breed” Samaritans we’re talking about.

Do you want to experience that exuberance? Do you want to be so excited about something you can’t eat?  Love those around you and engage them in real conversations.

Challenge them to see themselves honestly and confront the truth about their lives.  Cast a vision for them…as true worshippers and followers of God.  And when God does His work in them, you’ve helped make a disciple maker!

When’s the last time you got so excited about something God is doing that you couldn’t eat? Has your passion for our Savior died down?  One of the best ways to reignite your spiritual passion is to take a risk and watch God show up, especially if He’s leading you to take that risk by confronting someone you love with the truth of Jesus.

Question: When’s the last time you really took a risk and shared your faith? Be honest and tell us what that was like and why you’ve gone “back into hiding”.